Here Alone
by AquaTurquoise
Summary: Roland recalls several letters he and his former wife used to exchange…and then one of the last ones she wrote him before her untimely demise. (Based on the song "Here Alone" from the play "Little Women," but with different lyrics/words)


Here Alone

Summary: Roland recalls several letters he and his former wife used to exchange…and then one of the last ones she wrote him before her untimely demise. (Based on the song "Here Alone" from the play "Little Women," but with different lyrics/words)

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the song mentioned here.

A/N: If you've never seen _Little Women_ , it's a great show. The best thing about it, though, is the music. One of the songs is the same as the title of this story. Basically the original song is sung by a woman writing to her husband to let her know what life is like at home while a war is going on. However, here, I've changed the lyrics for more obvious reasons… You'll see! The lyrics will be used throughout, and they'll be italicized, so hope you enjoy.

*Story*

Roland sat in his bedroom, a box filled with many different items before him. There were letters, fabrics, jewels, and many other things. He sighed. He knew he'd eventually have to revisit this box, but he hadn't planned on it being so soon.

In fact, he hadn't planned it at all. The box had fallen from a spot in his closet when he'd opened it, the contents spilling out. Therefore, he had to clean it up…but currently he was a bit…distracted.

He'd begun sifting through many letters his first wife had written to him. They'd brought back a lot of great memories and even a small smile to his face. His late wife had been such a kind, gentle soul—a lot like Miranda, actually, but still so different. She'd had her own personality, which seemed to be a little bit more like Sofia's actually. The twins' mother was so giving and outgoing, but she was also a little reclusive toward….toward the end.

He released a heavy sigh as he lifted another letter—her final one to him.

 _Write a letter, be inventive_

 _Tell you everything is fine_

 _Be attentive to the details_

 _Send my love with every line_

" **Dear Roland,**

" **My loving, kind, sweet husband… I'm not sure how to start this letter. I know words will be of little comfort to you when you do finally read this, but I just want you to know that everything will be all right. I don't want you to mourn my absence, because I'll never truly be gone. I'll live on through our children…"**

Roland put the letter down for a moment as he collected himself.

 _Every word should bring you closer_

 _And caress you with its tone_

 _Nothing should remind you_

 _That you'll be here alone_

He resumed reading once the wave of sadness had passed.

" **I know you have questions. I do too. It's impossible to know what could have been, so I don't want you dwelling on that. You did everything you could, Roland. How could I possibly ask for anything more?"**

 _I can't tell you what I'm feeling_

 _I can't talk of when I'm gone_

 _How my heart is breaking more now_

 _Wondering what I could have done_

" **You and the twins mean the world to me. Our little Amber with her big dreams; our brave James with his curious nature… They're so perfect, aren't they? Children are always such innocent beings, and they're so resilient. I have every confidence that they'll be just fine. Yet still the one thing I regret is not getting to see them grow up…"**

Roland inhaled before exhaling slowly as he leaned against the wall. Oh, he regretted that too…

 _I don't know which part is harder_

 _What I know or what's unknown_

 _Or leaving our two children_

 _And knowing you're alone_

The king, diminished to an emotional vessel of memories and sorrow, somehow found it in him to keep reading.

" **I know it won't be long now, love. I can feel my energy leaving me every day. Yet as I grow weaker, I also grow stronger. I know it makes little sense, but hear me out…**

" **My body is failing me. I know that. You know that. All of Enchancia knows that at this point. But in my mind and in my heart, I refuse to leave this world without a fight. That's not who I am, and it's not how I want to be remembered either. I want them to say, 'She fought it. She gave it her all.' And please know that I did, Roland. I really did."**

 _Counting days, praying for news_

 _This isn't the life I meant to choose_

Roland's hands were shaking a little as his eyes scanned the next words—faded yet familiar now.

 _Do you know how much I'll miss you_

 _Even when I'm gone away?_

 _I'll be smiling down upon you_

 _Even though I want to stay_

" **I'll miss you all so much, my love. I know things will be difficult, strange, and uncertain for a while. I imagine Baileywick will need to find someone who can calm him down during a decoration crisis."**

He laughed softly at that, though the sound was a little hollow.

" **Poor Cedric won't have as many visitors… Go easy on him, Roland. He's trying."**

Roland actually smiled. That he was…it was like she _knew_. Maybe she did.

" **And all of our subjects…take care of them. They mean the world to me—to us. They need you, Roland. They need you to be a strong leader. Don't let them down. And James and Amber…"**

 _I don't want to leave our children_

 _I don't want to make them cry_

 _Why can't I be here when they need me?_

 _Why do I have to die?_

Roland could have sworn the next section had dried tearstains on the parchment. He wouldn't be surprised if so, considering the next words.

" **Leaving our little ones is the last thing I'd ever hoped would happen. I hate to think I'll never see them off to school, I'll never see them get married, and I'll never see our grandchildren… I'm trying not to dwell too much on this, because I know you're thinking exactly what I'm writing. Why? Why does it have to be this way? And I don't know, Roland… I don't know."**

 _I wish I could remain here_

 _With you all in our own home_

" **But life is never reliable. It's an amazing journey, and I've loved every minute of it. I love** _ **you**_ **. I love all of you. Just keep me in your hearts, and I'll never be far from you. Listen as the wind rushes past, and you'll hear me whispering to you. Watch as the children rush after a butterfly. Maybe that will be me, with my own set of wings."**

Roland sighed as he massaged his temples. He was at the last few lines. He could do it. He could read them…

 _My time is waning faster_

 _And you'll be here…alone_

" **Either way, my time is at an end, I'm afraid. And I'm so sorry to leave you, Roland… Understand that I don't do it of my own will. If I had my choice, I'd remain here with all of you and live out my life as honestly as possible. But that's not a choice for me. So here's what I want you to do…**

" **Don't give up. Stay strong. Help our children grow into wonderful people, and please keep my memory alive with them. If they have questions, give them answers. I don't want my life to be a mystery to them. They're still so young, and they'll need help remembering their mother. Also, don't be afraid to love again. If your heart reaches out to another in my stead, please, listen to it. Give yourself a chance to be in love again. You have my blessing. I'm sorry for leaving you alone, and I hope you can forgive me. I love you, Roland."**

Roland turned when he heard the door open. "M-Miranda?"

The brown-haired woman smiled gently as she approached him. "Dinner's ready."

"Oh…all right." He quickly folded the letter away and tucked it into the box, replacing the lid. Satisfied, he stood and put the box back in the closet before turning around and facing his queen.

Miranda walked up to him, observing him carefully. She smiled softly in understanding before reaching up and caressing his cheek. "Memories are wonderful things, Roland. As long as you have them, the people you've cared for will never leave you."

The king's eyes widened slightly. "How do you…?"

"You're not the only one who's gone through something like that, you know. So believe me: I understand…completely." She lowered her hand and grasped both of his, gently squeezing them for comfort.

Roland smiled in appreciation. "Thank you, Miranda."

They left the room, illuminated by only the roaring fire in the fireplace. Outside, one lone golden butterfly swept by the window before vanishing into the night.

The end


End file.
